Adolescents are growing up in a virtual world with 24/7 access to everything imaginable whenever they want to access it. There is no doubt that this kind unlimited access to information is leading to oversaturation, overexposure, oversharing, and overstimulation. The lines between being engaged and engaging online and off real life participation are becoming more and more unclear everyday. As these lines blur so does the discourse and social norms which dictate appropriate interpersonal interactions within these spaces. It has been proven that those who spend time on numerous social media platforms have increased stress and feel negative about themselves . However, social media use is more popular than ever so we need learn how to work with it instead of against it. One of the things we can do is to encourage websites to embed boundaries similar to the end of a chapter in a book, a television show, a song, a movie, etc so users know when to stop and log off. Other ways are to model the behavior you want to see, encourage tech free zones or times, keeping track of what teens are doing online and encouraging empathy. One idea I love and wish more school districts would do is implement programs such as Mindfulness and Social Emotional Learning which will help build a positive school environment as well as help prepare students for the demands of high school, college and their future careers .
What Does The Research Say?
Daily social media use may promote a risk for adolescent empathy in terms of the inability to recognize another person’s distress and unease. A number of reasons this is happening includes the constant need for peer approval leading to constant comparison and insecurity. In one article by Rachel Simmons from Time magazine titled How Social Media Is a Toxic she gives an example: "But invariably, the line between a “like” and feeling ranked becomes blurred. “I think it affects teens subconsciously just seeing how many likes they get and how much attention get just for how they look,” one 16-year-old told me. "In contrast if teens are not receiving the "likes" or approvals they may be getting insults or being shamed online. This is one thing that has come along with social media and the blurring of online and offline engagement: impulsive, carelesss, and antagonistic words and actions that come only with sense of anonymity. This is where we see the decline in what would be done in this scenario offline compared to online and the false sense of 'online' is associated with "unaffected".
Adolescent social media is associated with decreased empathy. There are a number of studies that have been done looking at the addictive nature of social media and the connection to the decrease in empathy. Disconnected communication is the norm where even making a simple phone call can cause anxiety and stress. However a phone call can be a better way to communicate because you can hear the other persons tone of voice versus an email which can sometimes cause miscommunication of meaning. This is even more exaggerated when adolescents are engaging less and less with human reactions and are unable to view facial expressions as well as tone of voice and body language We are now living in a immediate gratification world where everything needs to be completed, responded to, delivered, immediately which leaves little time to. Adolescent are also distracted by social media and even while on social media that they will often not even realize when something they said has offended someone one . This is such a difficult stage to try to manage friendships, peers, and social importance that now they have to do this both IRL (In real life) and online.
Articles and Research
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What Can We Do?
-Initiate School and Community Wide Programs
-Strive for Parent/Child Social Media Transparency
For Parents:
Ideas to help develop empathy:
"How to Help Teenagers Develop Empathy" <https://www.melbournechildpsychology.com.au/blog/help-teenagers-develop-empathy/>.
You could respond with….
Option A: “Well, you sometimes behave like that too you know”. (Hint: Teenager is likely to walk out of the room in a huff)
Option B: “Well, just leave her alone for a while, she’ll get over it.” (Hint: Attempting to solve the problem for the teenager is not the response they are looking for. It doesn’t teach them anything and it tells them you are not really interested in listening to the full story)
Option C: ASK QUESTIONS. “Okay, tell me how Kate has been behaving”, “What do you think has been going on with her recently?”, “What could make her behave this way?”, “Do you think there’s anything we can do to help?”, “If you were Kate, what would you like others to do?” (Hint: This option helps your teenager put themselves in Kate’s shoes (cognitive empathy) and think about the best way to respond (affective empathy).
Ideas to help develop empathy:
"How to Help Teenagers Develop Empathy" <https://www.melbournechildpsychology.com.au/blog/help-teenagers-develop-empathy/>.
- Discuss current events with your children and ask them how they think the people in the story might be feeling.
- It can also help to discuss situations that your teenager might see in TV shows with fictional characters. Ask them if they relate to a particular person in the show and why. Then, ask them what other characters might be thinking and feeling. (Hint: The musical “Wicked” is a good example of how we are trained to only see a story from one perspective. This musical tells the story of the wicked witch in the Land of Oz from a very different viewpoint!)
- Modelling is very important. It’s okay to let your teenagers see that you are human too. For example, tell them a story about a time when you might have suspected a friend was in trouble, what you were thinking about at the time and what you did to help.
- Help them to problem-solve different situations. For example, “How would you like to be treated if you were the new girl?”, “If you were being teased, what would you want your friends to do to help?”, or “If you had been away from school for three weeks, what would you like people to say when you came back?”
You could respond with….
Option A: “Well, you sometimes behave like that too you know”. (Hint: Teenager is likely to walk out of the room in a huff)
Option B: “Well, just leave her alone for a while, she’ll get over it.” (Hint: Attempting to solve the problem for the teenager is not the response they are looking for. It doesn’t teach them anything and it tells them you are not really interested in listening to the full story)
Option C: ASK QUESTIONS. “Okay, tell me how Kate has been behaving”, “What do you think has been going on with her recently?”, “What could make her behave this way?”, “Do you think there’s anything we can do to help?”, “If you were Kate, what would you like others to do?” (Hint: This option helps your teenager put themselves in Kate’s shoes (cognitive empathy) and think about the best way to respond (affective empathy).
For Educators:
TEACH: DIGITAL CITIZENSHIP
(Ribble, Mike, and Teresa Northern Miller. "Educational Leadership In An Online World: Connecting Students To Technology Responsibly, Safely, And Ethically." Online Learning17.1 (2013): n. pag. Web. 2 Aug. 2017. <https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ1011379>.)
Respect Your Self/Respect Others
- Digital Etiquette. Starting at a young age, educational leaders need to begin make parallels for students between being good to each other both in the classroom and in the digital world. Users need to be provided with specific examples of appropriate action in both worlds.
- Digital Access. Work within educational institutions needs to focus on all students having similar digital opportunities. Efforts should be made and monitored to ensure that all groups have access to technology and if there is not, access accommodations need to be made.
- Digital Law. As in Real Life (RL), if something is taken which has value, it is stealing. Students need to see the connection between RL (Real Life) and OL (Online Life) and understand that those basic laws apply to the OL, as well as the RL
Educate Your Self/Connect with Others
- Digital Communication. Discussions should be held with students on which situations require which technologies (or media) for interpersonal interactions. Students need to have an understanding of how to be clear to avoid misunderstandings when there is no way to see reactions, facial expressions, etc.
- Digital Literacy. As the numbers of digital tools grow, there is a need to expand on knowledge of the basics that can be applied to several technologies. The basic technology skills of the past 10 years (e.g. understanding various word processing packages) are disappearing and being replaced by very specific new literacy skills (e.g. social networking, texting).
- Digital Commerce. Students need to know how to protect themselves and their information in an online world. Students need to know which sites are safe, how much information to share, and how to protect their financial reputations.
- Digital Rights and Responsibility. Educational leaders need to reinforce that the access students have online requires following the rules, or the students’ rights can be revoked. Students need to realize that when they feel uncomfortable in a situation, they need to report it to someone in authority.
- Digital Safety (Security). Educational leaders need to ensure that technology tools and information are protected. Students need to also become aware that even not doing something (e.g. keeping virus protection up to date) can have an impact on themselves as well as others.
- Digital Health and Welfare. Educational leaders need to understand the need for, and how to, set limits of technology use as a necessary skill for all users. Students need to understand that limits must be set to live a balanced life between OL and RL.
ADDITIONAL READING:
Works Cited
Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services, Port Melbourne. "Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services, Port Melbourne." Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services. N.p., n.d. Web. 30 July 2017.
Simmons, Rachel . "How Social Media Is a Toxic Mirror." Time. Time, 19 Aug. 2016. Web. 01 Aug. 2017.
Simmons, Rachel . "How Social Media Is a Toxic Mirror." Time. Time, 19 Aug. 2016. Web. 01 Aug. 2017.